下面是我在以往的工作中遇到的商务英文邮件的一些典型问题，现归纳如下并逐一分析。

Subject: Give me a hand

Tim,

Mr. Crystal from Minster Inc. called earlier, and asked for our sales strategies for their new product. Pls send our information to him at crystal@minster.com.hk by end of business today.

Frank

 

[分析]：如果弗兰克是蒂姆的上司，上列的书写语气无可厚非；若彼此只是同事，不管克里斯多先生是多么重要的客户，都应避免下指令的语气。应将原本的“要求语气”转变为“请求语气”。试比较：

 

Subject: Huge favor needed! Please give me a hand!

Tim,

I need a favor.

Mr. Crystal from Minster Inc. called earlier, and asked for our sales strategies for their new product. Unfortunately, I am leaving before noon for Hong Kong for business training. I wonder if you could search your files and send our information to him at crystal@minster.com.hk.

If possible, please send him the information by end of business today as he needs it for a meeting with our product managers tomorrow.

I will appreciate your big help.

Sincerely yours,

Frank

问题二：底线暴露，谈判夭折

Hi Rene,

Good day!

Have you received my mail and the dealer discount plan sent on Apr.2? Any comments?

My friend, the most important thing is that we start moving, and then I will get the best conditions from our board of directors...

Awaiting for your soonest comments...

Best regards!

Sincerely yours,

John Leung

[分析]：这是一个外贸业务员写给潜在经销商的邮件。上述邮件给经销商（DEALER）的折扣方案中，我们看到当经销商的年采购量超过5000台时，折扣率为30%。在这一折扣下，可以肯定的是供应商仍有利润空间，假设净利润率为10%。上表中第4列说：单次订购在10台以上的折扣率为5%。由此可以推知，在此情况下供应商的净利润约为35%，这一点潜在经销商不难看出。综上，该业务员制定这一方案的本意是鼓励经销商尽可多地销售产品，本以为这个不错的方案会对客户有很强的吸引力，却无意之中向经销商暴露了他的底线，结果适得其反。该经销商的回复是：订购10台，要求30%的折扣，否则免谈。 

问题三：没有站在对方的角度说话

We’ll send you the samples tomorrow.

[分析]：英文信函中，如果你仔细琢磨老外的行文方式，很少会充满“We”“I”之类的人称词。相反，被动语态用得很多。这会减少客户在阅读邮件时的压迫感，让客户感受到的是：我帮你做了什么，而不是我要卖给你什么。因此，此句可改为：Samples will be sent to you tomorrow.

问题四：时态错误

Thank you very much for your reasonable calculation of the prices and ROI analysis. I agree with your point that proper pricing strategy will help the success in the market...As I have mentioned before, price will never become the barrier of our cooperation.

[分析]：划线部分时态错误，应改成As I mentioned before

问题五：拼写错误

Hi Georges,

Good day!

I noted that you have biult a website. Would you consider to add our wind turbines to your website?

Looking forward to hearing from you, soon!

All the best!

Sincerely yours,

Andy

[分析]：“built”明显拼写错误。若写完后检查一遍再发出，应能发现并改之。

问题六：短语不清，反复出错

Hi Georges,

Good day!

Kindly pls send the P/I back to us with your signature and company stamp.

We need this for our file. Pls do me the favor to send it back!

Looking forward to hear from you soon!

All the best!

Sincerely yours,

John Leung

[分析]：“Look forward to”是一个短语，意思是“盼望，期待”。这里的“to”是介词，后面只能跟名词或动名词，而不能跟动词原形。有不少人误把它当成不定式的标志后接动词原形。有一个外贸业务员在每次邮件的结尾总是喜欢写“Looking forward to hear from you, soon!”推算一下，假如他每天写10封这样的邮件，那么他一年就犯了3000多次同样的错误。

问题七：母语思维，中式表达

Pls take some time to confirm and clear the above mentioned information. Thank you in advance for your kind help……

[分析]：划线部分应改为“the information mentioned above”或“above-mentioned information”。

问题八：啰里啰嗦，不够简洁

Hi Gemma,

1. I have sent the email again I failed to send to you. I think I have sent it to you successfully this time.

2. I have received the new drawing for DSUK. I have completed the translation and I sent it to the Sample Room on June 13.

3. Please send spec. sheets and other things to me from now on, not to Jordan.

Regards,

Tina

[分析]：在一次英文邮件培训中，我曾问一名外贸业务员这封邮件有什么问题，她看了很久也没有回答出来。后来，我请她大声读一遍，她还是没有发现问题。于是我请她再读一遍，她才豁然明白。短短的一封邮件中出现了7个“I”。在英文邮件中，当主语是第一人称“I”时，常可省略。修改后的全文如下：

Hi Gemma,

Have sent the email again I failed to send you. I think it will reach you this time.

Completed translating the new drawing for DSUK from you and sent it to the Sample Room on June 13.

Please send spec. sheets and other things to me from now on, not to Jordan.

Regards,

Tina

问题九：常用链接，事与愿违

很多朋友在写开发信时，总是会在内容里加上自己公司的网址，或者在签名下面加上链接。这样做，有很大的概率会被服务器拦截掉！最好在客人回复后，第二次给他写邮件时再插入这些链接。

问题十：布局混乱，答非所问

很多国外客户每天会收到大量邮件,因此会用几块固定的时间用来处理这些邮件。我问过很多国外客户获知：他们处理一封邮件的时间是一般2～3秒。如果你的邮件内容不能迅速吸引客户，下面写得再好，客户可能也读不到，更不可能回复你。

快速切入主题非常重要。很多业务员会用很大的篇幅来介绍自己、公司和工厂，客户看了半天不知道你想干什么，干脆不看了。

正确的询盘回复邮件，布局应该与客户的询盘邮件一一对应。客户先问的先答，后问的后答，没问的不答。客户先问的说明是他最关心和最想知道的，应大篇幅的回复，对客户后问到的一些问题则应简短作答。

干货奉上！外贸英文邮件沟通10个要点

1、遵行24小时原则：收到客户的邮件后24小时内应回复，即使不能对客户邮件中的问题给出明确或准确的答案，也要让他知道你已认真查看了其邮件并已开始行动。

2、情绪高涨时避免立即回复邮件。

3、邮件应“主旨”明确，让人一看就明白。

4、发送邮件前，一定要至少检查一次拼写、语法等。

5、避免使用高姿态或命令语气写邮件。

6、合理布局较长的邮件：先概述整篇邮件的大意，再详细阐述，最后简短总结。

7、不可全用大写。大写=大喊，十分不礼貌。

8、不可全用红色。

9、现代英文缩略语及表情符号，要避免用于正式商务邮件中。

10、段落开头，当主语是第一人称“I”时，常省略。

（摘自《进出口经理人》系列丛书之《TTM全面外贸管理与案例分析》，作者：丁军）     （来源：一点资讯网站）